Phenomenal . . .

Phenomenal . . .
Life, Growth, and Connection (This sunflower was nourished by my hands.) 2010; Photography by Benita Blocker. Please become a follower of this blog.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Marriage, Mates, and Natural Hair 2015

(Very happily divorced mainly because I entered into marriage for all the wrong reasons.)

Situation #1
I have had many MARRIED women approach me in public about going natural or Loc'ing their hair, but they can not because their husbands do NOT like "the natural look."  Some ladies say their husbands prefer for them to wear a weave or a wig versus their natural hair.  In addition, some wives have been told that if their natural hair was a little looser then their husbands would be more okay with their wife going natural.  These wives admit that they want to keep their husband happy so they comply.

1) Have relaxers created a fraudulent perception of Black hair?
2) Is it healthy for women to feel trapped between keeping their husbands happy and learning to embrace their God given hair texture?
3) If wigs and weaves are more acceptable than kinky hair, then would shaving women's heads and just maintaining hair replacement/cranial prosthesis make more sense?

Situation #2
Sleeping with a hair bonnet, rollers, or a head scarf is not acceptable by some husbands in the initial years of marriage.  After about ten years of marriage, many of these husbands relax the rules, and the wives are more flexible with doing what is necessary at night to make styling their hair easier the next morning.  We all know that women born with wavy and straight hair naturally gain length quicker and without breakage.  Lower maintenance natural loose hair is always going to be more manageable.  This type of hair does not make the women any smarter, brighter, or more educated.  It just means less to no "bad hair days."

Many Black women turn to loc'ing their hair to achieve the low maintenance lifestyle, but many men still do not like the texture of the hair in locs.  Of course, many men do, but women have to be aware that the lightness or darkness of their skin plays a part in how some men choose a mate.  Hair texture is no exception either.

1) Have successful  Black men become so accustomed to the European standards of a polished image that this mindset plays into how they choose who to marry?  (i.e. Many Black male celebrities choose to marry outside of the Black race.)

2) Do many Black women choose to be single over having to conform to the image that some Black men prefer?

3) Does a man's self esteem really reflect in the way the woman looks that he carries on his arm?

ANSWERS:  I hoping to get some men to weigh in on these situations and mindsets.  Any takers???

On a Separate note: I used ombre lip coloring with a center transition color in my picture above. I needed to remind myself so that I will not look back two years from now and ask about my lip color.

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