Dreadlocks: Lessons Learned in 2013

 This is my August 2013 picture.  My last time having my hair "sisterlocked" was March 2013.  Five months Sisterlocks-free!  Same parting sizes.  Just new SELF-tightening technique!

Honey (as explained in my last article on this blog) is doing really well to keep my locks coiled.  Overall, they are not untwisting.  I did have a few instances where the honey made my neck sticky because I was sweating and the leftover honey on my scalp started sliding down. (What a visual? Right? LOL!)

Anyway, I just took a wet paper towel and wiped my perimeters and neck off.  Surprisingly, I have spoken with more and more people who use honey to avoid skin breakouts from other "lock products."  So those with sensitive skin will love honey for tightening their hair.

The honey works like a heavy moisturizer. I must admit my satin bonnet and pillow cases all look "greasy" but I have not attracted any ants nor bugs.  I will happily use the honey again and keep the wetness of my hair consistent before applying the honey if it starts to dry out as I am working my way through my hair.

Well, this picture is from January 2013.  I really suggest children start their dreadlocks between 10 and 12 years old.  Some people are born with "perfect shaped head and face" that they can look glamourous with a bald head.  And some of us, like me, need hair length to balance our distinguished features.  I found it difficult in my age 40's working in a corporate setting to start growing out Sisterlocks and/or dreadlocks.  I hated to feel forced to wear a wig to fit in with the workplace and also cause stress to my new $800.00 hairdo.  I really did not have a real support system.  People would say  "it looked great, but it was not for me. "  "My (their) husband would not go for it." Oh, "look at those little things.  Is that your hair?"

In hindsight,  I realized that I gained weight from the stress of coping with Sisterlocks and the "starter dreadlocks."  I even was laid off from my corporate hairdressing position within two weeks of initial Sisterlocks locking session.  My manager was African American, but obviously needed diversity training. I have a few other choice names to call this manager, but it would be inappropriate to post that here.  So I digress.

The founder of Sisterlocks' purpose was to empower women, but I found MY Sisterlocks journey to be a quick route through "hell" and back.  I made the best of it, and I am now back on track for happier days with my new approach to dreadlocks.  Thank God that I now see clearer skies, and I am on track to becoming more empowered as my locks gain length withOUT thinning out my hair density.  More on hair density later in this article.

Anyway, the younger you can start your little girls out with dreadlocks the better to cope with the peer pressure.  The dreadlocks or Sisterlocks need at least two years before they get to the length that most people start to really love them.  So starting at age 12 means by high school, the locks should be easy to style, and the girls should have some workable length.

This picture above shows the relaxed hair that is still hanging on my hair ends versus my matured lock.  My relaxed hair rolled up on the ends and formed knots while in the Sisterlocks' framework.  The Sisterlocks consultant really did me a disservice by locking my relaxed hair.  I honestly do not know if I had enough new growth to start Sisterlocks anyway. (Visit my July 2012 articles for my start of Sisterlocks.)

I had so much relaxed hair that I do not know if she really knew what she was looking at. My relaxed hair was never silky straight because of my natural texture. I digress again. ( I am trying to stay upbeat. Smile.)

Anyway, please do NOT pay to get your relaxed ends Sisterlocked.  They will either matte and lock on its own depending on your natural texture or NOT.  Either way, you will probably end up cutting them off at some point in time.

 Okay, my Sisterlocks consultant had started doubling up my locks within the first 3 months of getting Sisterlocks started.  She did not tell me.  I found this doubled up lock, and I was upset.  For those who do not understand the big picture, doubling up locks means your hair density is thinning.

For Christ's sake, if your hair is thinning out within months of starting locks, then something is NOT right.  Either your hair is the type that really does need some shea butter, olive oil or some sort of moisturizer  OR the interlock/Sisterlock technique is NOT a good fit for your hairtype.  It could be the Sisterlock technician's error in her interlocking technique.

Regardless, stop the madness!  If the doubled up strand is larger than the root area, then you are going to rip your hair out from the scalp trying to pass the "fat ends" through.  If you understand the interlocking process, then you know what I am explaining here.  If you do not understand the interlocking process, I encourage you to watch youtube tutorials on "interlocking dreadlocks."

By all means, watch your hair density.  In my December 2012 picture above, my second Sisterlocks consultant was twice as fast at tightening, but I believe that she was also causing me breakage and thinning.

Most of the length in this picture is still stemming from my relaxed ends that had not rolled up and knotted.   (i.e. my length above is from the relaxed hair that was put into Sisterlocks framework)

I kept asking the new consultant how is she sooo much faster than my last consultant.  Her answer was "age difference?"

No,  in hindsight, my hair was being ripped out.  The Sisterlocks consultants seem to like getting those Sisterlocks premium dollars, but they do not care if you are going bald in the process.  They just want to get paid without owning up to the fact that the interlocking technique or even the frequency of tightenings may not be working for you.  There are some exceptions . . . so yes, not all Sisterlock consultants are bad.  But definitely, do NOT trust that sisterlocks.com certified consultant list either as far as finding a caring, professional consultant.  I digress. (I swear - writing this article is taking me through an emotional roller coaster. It is amazing what I have been through on this lock journey.)

Also, if your Sisterlocks consultant is yanking your sisterlocks apart if they start to grow together, then I do not recommend this action.  Shears should be used to carefully cut the cross hair(s) if they can not be massaged apart.  Yanking on dreadlocks/Sisterlocks is what amateur locticians do; not professional locticians.  Yanking stresses the locks.

As you can see, I have learned a lot about dreadlocks over the year.  As for me and my dreadlocks, the best thing is for me was to do like so many other women with beautiful locks are doing - just do it myself and go to a loctician for updos, steam treatments, or other specialty options.  I do not want to risk too much lock doubling or combining.  I want to keep my locks as feminine as possible.

Thank God that I have found a loctician that I hope will work out. Our consultation went the best out of the three locticians I visited a few months ago.

I hope that this article helps others considering the lock journey for their children or for themselves.  Locks are a serious thing.  It's still hair and breakage still can happen.  Some sistahs with straight hair take sistahs with locked hair for granted.  I assure you that a sistah with long, beautiful locks are just as picky about her locks as any straight haired sistah is about her blow-out.  So don't get it twisted!

Child safety concerns within the Hair salon

Some moms are finding that dropping off children at the daycare while they run errands may cost them $60.00 per day.  So some moms are feeling pressured to bring their child with them to sit through their hair appointment service.  This is not a good idea for many reasons.

1) Hair salons use hot tools.  The child could grab a curling iron or worse, stick their hand into a hot conventional stove.  Or the hot tool or hot stove could fall on them as they may get their foot caught in the cords. Burns can leave scarring.

2) Hair salons use chemicals.  The child could come into contact with relaxers or other chemicals at the shampoo bowl, trash receptacle  or on mommy's head if she is having to comfort the child.  Chemical exposure to eyes, skin, etc is dangerous.

3) Hair salons are supposed to be a pampering experience.  If the hairstylist, the mom being serviced, and the other clients in the lobby are all rotating through "babysitting" duty, then this does not promote a professional environment.  It is extra stress on everyone witnessing the child wandering into everything that catches the child's eyes.

4) Soiled "pull-ups" and "pampers" can be annoying to dispose of.

5)  Candy wrappers, cracker crumbs, and spills from juice boxes are also bothersome to clean up.

6) Concentration on the hair service is hard when one is constantly trying to keep track of the child even if no  other clients are in the salon being serviced except the mother.  This often delays the timing of the hair service.

7) Child is exposed to the hairsprays and other aerosols in the air which is unnecessary.

So in a nutshell, I absolutely deny service to mothers who bring children to my salon who are not being serviced along with the mother if I have other clients scheduled to be serviced in an overlapping time slot.  I do not want to subject other clients to becoming babysitters or exposure to unnecessary noise.

However, if I do not have any other clients overlapping, then I have allowed mothers to bring their child with them.  I was originally thinking that as long as other clients were not affected that it would be fine, but now, I realized that I do not want any extra bodies runnning around, pumping up styling chairs, and going on treasure hunts within my salon with out being compensated for the extra stress.  Most of the time, the mothers' learn from the initial experience, and they definitely make babysitting arrangements prior to their next hair appointment without me saying a word.  However, I think that I really have to start mentioning this at the time of the booking of the appointments.  I may have to start charging about $25 an hour for any time past 30 minutes of babysitting time.  If the child can be picked up within 30 minutes, then not so much of a problem, but over 30 minutes, a penalty fee would have to be implemented to avoid future distractions.

A Mother's Choice: To Relax or To Lock?

Age 4 - started locks; Age 8 - "locks for life!" I wanted to share one mother's decision for her beloved daughter: (Pictures provided by Arynn's mother.)

I decided to lock Arynn's hair 4 years ago after prayer, careful consideration and much research. Arynn was born with a lot of tight curly hair that is extremely dense and thick. In addition to this, she was very tender-headed. I remember literally having to put Arynn in a headlock to do even simple styles and hope no one would call DSS from her crying at the top of her lungs. With so many strikes against me, I knew I was going to have to make a decision. 3 years prior to locking Arynn's hair I had decided to get sisterlocks and was loving them for many reasons. At the time, I only knew of one other child who had sisterlocks and hers were put in by her mother who was a sisterlock technician at the time. I tried blowing her hair out and even that was a task. I even straightened with the comb a couple of times but did not like the smell of dead, burned hair. Because of the long term and sometimes short term damage that results from perms, I knew that chemicals would not be an option from the beginning. I got lots of negative feedback from adults of both permed and natural hair (surprisingly) that Arynn was too young for sisterlocks, that it should be her decision, what if she wants to cut them out later, etc. I even when to napturality.com for insight. I had to do a heart check and take into consideration our family lifestyle, my husband's thoughts (he was on board from the very beginning), time management and hair management for myself and my daughter. Finally after talking at length with my consultant who agreed to actually lock Arynn's hair (other consultants did not want to even think about doing a 4 year old's hair due to the length of time, attention span, etc.) I knew sisterlocks were the way to go for us. 29 1/2 hours over 4 days later, Arynn had a beautiful head of sister locks. There have been no regrets and I still believe this was the best decision I could have made. Arynn loves her hair and can be found sashaying and swinging her hair in the mirror often. She loves the touch, look and length of her hair. Literally boys, girls, men and women of all colors have complimented her on her hair. It is literally a conversation piece and friends love playing in it.

The biggest negative we have experienced is that after going to an open house of a renown Christian private school, I was told that Arynn would not be able to attend the school with sisterlocks. When asked if that was discrimination, I was told "no" because they could pretty much make their own rules as a private school. This was prior to me deciding that I would home school her so peer pressure is non-existent in our world relative to the school side.

Hair is hair and it needs to be maintained regardless of natural or permed; so yes she has to be tightened and it does require a lot of time because she has sooooo many locks. I know other little girls with sister locks who are tightened in 3-4 hours (average time) every 4-6 weeks. In the beginning much care has to be taken with washing and banding of the hair so that the locks do not come out but after the "settle in" phase (which can take 4-6 months on the average) it's history! That is where sisterlock consultants come in. They are well trained and during your initial consultation everything from product to maintenance is covered. Sisterlocks have their own product line and special instructions, so the process is simple if followed closely. You want someone who is thorough and will answer all of your questions with patience because this is not a fad, its a lifestyle. I respect sisterlock consultants who have gone through the proper training and credentialing because truly it is an art. (Sisterlocks.com has an official SisterLock consultant registry.) Rosa Crawford (out of the Charlotte, NC area) is our Sisterlock consultant and can be found on the official website.

I believe that the trend toward natural hair has made locs of all types acceptable by people of all different cultures and races. Sisterlocks are seen on women in tv, commercials and corporately. Its healthy, beautiful and worth all the money that is invested into it. I would do it again and again. When I asked Arynn what she likes most about her locks, she simply smiles and says "everything mommy."

End of story . . . Benita, here again! I am so thankful that this mother shared her story with us! It brought back memories. I am tenderheaded to this day, and my hair was just ridiculous for my mother to manage. I wish SisterLocks was around thirty years ago, and that my mom would have gotten me started.

It is important to remember that a relaxer is permanent and has to be cut off to start over. Locks are permanent for the most part and have to be cut off to start over. So it is six one way and a half a dozen another way. Moms should not be afraid of sisterlocks for their daughter's hair. I personally want sisterlocks even smaller than the ones that Arynn has pictured above. I want micro Sisterlocks. I may have to travel to DC to get them! I will keep you posted. Until then . . . "Lock on!"

Just for Me Texture Softener packaging change?

If you see this old packaging of Soft and Beautiful Just for Me Texture Softener, please check to make sure the product is not expired before using it. I had a new client to call. She explained that she usually buys this "texture softener" every three to four months from Walmart for her daughter's hair, and everything always went well. However, the last time, she decided to run out to a local "national" drugstore chain to purchase her box of "Texture Softener." She started using it and noticed something was going wrong. She rinsed and shampooed multiple times, but it took about two weeks to get the granules out of her daughter's hair. In addition, there was a lot of hair in the bowl, and her daughter's hair has been breaking ever since. She said she called the company and based on the product code, the "texture softener" was expired by a year or more. This means that the product was probably manufactured about five years ago. The company blamed the drugstore for still having it on the shelf.

In the meantime, it has been an emotional toil dealing with the damage from using the expired product. I asked the mom about smell. She said that the product did not have a bad smell. I asked her if it even straightened or texturized her daughter's hair because usually old relaxers do NOT relax very well. She said that I was correct in that the product did not texturize nor straighten; it just caused damage.

So my theory is that the "conditioners" that buffer the "hydroxide" must have broken down and were not able to protect the hair. Relaxer have a high pH (alkaline pH). The conditioners that help prevent the relaxer from being corrosive probably were ineffective and could not balance the alkaline pH of the hydroxide.

I explained to her that just like a vegetable, if the hair is "overcooked" then you have to start over or gradually, trim it away over time.

Pictured is the newest packaging of the Just for Me Children's relaxer. The words "Texture Softener" is no longer on the packaging. I went to two grocery stores and one national chain drugstore (different from the one that the client went to) on yesterday and all of them had the new packaging of the Just for Me Children's relaxer on the shelf.

If you look at the top of the box, you see a product code that starts with "12." I believe that this box was manufactured in 2012. This box was from the drugstore. The two grocery stores had boxes that started with "11." So I believe their relaxers were probably manufactured in 2011.

I have written blog articles before about buying discounted hair products and calling the companies to make sure the product is not expired before using "clearance" products. Most clearance products are about to expire unless the company is discontinuing the line or is changing the packaging.

Let me clarify that the client paid full price for the expired product. It was not a clearance item. She just bought the "texture softener" from the drugstore for convenience. Buying old product can happen anywhere. If a store is in a neighborhood that does not cater to a "relaxer buying" population, it is probably going to have slower product turnover. This could lead to expired product on the shelf.

Just be careful with chemicals and all hair products. A shampoo that goes bad can cause the hair to tangle. The same thing for a conditioner that goes bad. Expired product may cause more hair challenges.

If more people start calling the companies to make sure their product is not expired, then this may make companies put expiration dates on the product packaging. Some lines do have expiration dates. Some stores hate expiration dates on products because they can not sell the product past the date on it. When the expiration date is not on the product, it makes them feel less liable.

Even as a hairstylist, I have to protect my clients. I have to make sure that my products are fresh. I have to pay attention to old and new packaging. I have to call the manufacturer sometimes to learn how to read the product code to make sure that I always purchase fresh product.

Hair grows a half inch of month. If you are used to long hair, then that can be a long two years if you have to start over.

Little Precious Princesses 2011: Beauty in Puffballs!

I am so grateful that the father of these two little angels allowed me to photograph his daughters. This was a quick snapshot. I only had a few seconds. A moment in time, but a priceless moment in time. I saw these two little angels and fell in love with the natural beauty of ethnicity. The sunlight distorts their beautiful hairstyle a little. I promise they have straight part-lines separating their puffballs! Those puffballs also had beautiful shine to them. Soooo how many puffballs do you see? Much care and love went into the styling of these two princesses. They are just adorable. Many people both young and old would typically try to relax, press, or straighten this hair, but this family has learned to embrace the God giving beauty of every curl! I hope that you can feel the love and beauty captured in this snapshot!

If those puffballs were straightened out, the hair would be "below shoulder" length. However, why mess with perfection? There is power in those puffs! Just lovin them! A symbol of patience, perservance, and pride!