Tackling my Texture and Loving my Tapestry

It's Day Seven post shampoo, and I still have curls. Some say setting lotion causes long term build-up.  I don't know if I should have the same concerns regarding my Sisterlocks.  Typically, my maintenance for my Sisterlocks goes against "Sisterlocks Bible" teachings.  I am ecstatic about how long my curls from my wet double strand twist set are holding. It has to be that setting lotion that is doing the trick.  I decided to headband my locs into a goddess updo for day 7.

Did I fool you?  Nope, I didn't cut my locs.  They are still there!!!!  See?!

"I show is nappy." Did I say that?  I can say that. Yes, I can. However, No, you can not call my hair "nappy." You probably are thinking the same thing, but nope, all curl patterns are created by God, and they are beautiful.  However, I took this picture above earlier in the day, and I realized I really, really needed to tighten my roots some.  I had over an inch of new growth in some areas.  So in the picture, below, I tightened some of the roots, and I took another picture.

Better? Right?.  Just a little more manicured look?  I was not going to post the "before" picture because I was ashamed of my curl pattern.  It seemed like it needed to be tamed.  It looked "ugly."  Although, I think it looks prettier since I tightened up some of my new growth, but then I realized why am I trying to compare my hair texture to a European standard.  Didn't Cleopatra have braids?

Self hatred still runs deep in this "natural hair movement" of 2016.  If you want corkscrew curls, but you were not born with it, then you sew it in or crochet it in.  You can have whatever texture you want to BUY right now.  

I am not sure what the natural movement started out to be, but I assure you that "being natural" is not what the "natural movement" is about in 2016.  The natural movement of 2016 is about being "relaxer free."  Women are still getting hair color, smoothing treatments, keratin treatments, and some sort of "weave."  The weaves are no longer just the typical straight, sleek, look.

I am natural.  No permanent haircolor. However, I find myself boar bristle brushing my edges to keep them from looking "ungroomed."  My intentions are good, but do they lead to self destruction trying to fit in to a new "curly society standard?"

I really did not plan to take this article in this direction, but since I had been trying to get back out into the dating scene, it has been depressing that women still have to work so hard to fit a standard.

The Right one is out there! 

I don't plan to work hard to get him so I don't have to work hard to keep him.

He must accept my texture as well as my tapestry. ~Benita

Hair and Dating

I had forgotten that the movie "Good Hair" by Chris Rock featured a man who would judge what kind of dates he would have with a woman based on her hairstyling . . . whether or not she had low or high maintenance hair . . .

Examples: 1) Riding in a convertible with the top down . . . wind and "weave" do not go together. So remember to keep a scarf around "weave free" or not. Smile.

2)Water sports and swimming are obviously for those who know how to swim and do not mind getting their hair wet. The ability to "wash and wear" your natural hair will be a big dating plus for this particular catch. Braided hairstyles also a good option.

3)Sleeping pretty . . . and waking up glamourous . . . without rollers, without scarves, etc. . . . This is the ultimate "Halle Berry" test. LOL!

On a separate note, hair and skin can make men "lose their mind!" A lot of men do not like hair extensions, but they can deal with braids. I believe that men enjoy having the freedom of touching their lady's hair. They like the illusion of having a princess or an woman that has an exotic (Indian or Ethopian) look.

The closer your image looks more natural to this exotic/prestigious look; the more men that you attract! It seems like it is always "all or nothing." You either draw every man in the room or you draw no men. Smile. Example: I decided on a invisible braids style that looked so natural that unless I actually made people look at my roots to see that I had braids at the roots, they just were clueless. I left my perimeter hairline out which further threw them off, but the response from both men and women was unbelievable. I had men slipping me phone numbers, and women all in my hair. I had some Mexican women wanting to feel my hair because it looked "long and strong." And all of that was within the first week! By week two, I was being asked out on a date.

The braiding hair used for my invisible braids hairstyle ran $110 for two packs of hair at 2010 pricing. I paid the braider $150 to put in. I cut, styled and maintained it. So $300 later . . .I had "stop traffic" hairstyling and a "making money" look! Please see my article on invisible braids.

The attention that "great hair/great skin/great image" can give you is priceless at times, but hopefully, a good relationship is not built solely on "good hair."