Revolutionary Natural Hair Option

Hair transformation by Benita Blocker

The results have been repeatedly successful in making natural hair more manageable while staying in the natural family.

My technique is safe on pre-teens and teenagers. 

The feedback so far has been a game- changer for self esteem boosting in the teenage demographic.

I felt so proud to hear that the young lady loved the results of her mother's hair as seen above so she wanted the same and the whole family is saying the young lady has become more self confident with her new hair.

Anyone wanting the next level of natural hair styling should talk to me about this revolutionary option. If your hair texture is not a good fit, then I will deny the service.

A new you starts with a paid consultation.

Marriage, Mates, and Natural Hair 2015

(Very happily divorced mainly because I entered into marriage for all the wrong reasons.)

Situation #1
I have had many MARRIED women approach me in public about going natural or Loc'ing their hair, but they can not because their husbands do NOT like "the natural look."  Some ladies say their husbands prefer for them to wear a weave or a wig versus their natural hair.  In addition, some wives have been told that if their natural hair was a little looser then their husbands would be more okay with their wife going natural.  These wives admit that they want to keep their husband happy so they comply.

Questions:
1) Have relaxers created a fraudulent perception of Black hair?
2) Is it healthy for women to feel trapped between keeping their husbands happy and learning to embrace their God given hair texture?
3) If wigs and weaves are more acceptable than kinky hair, then would shaving women's heads and just maintaining hair replacement/cranial prosthesis make more sense?

Situation #2
Sleeping with a hair bonnet, rollers, or a head scarf is not acceptable by some husbands in the initial years of marriage.  After about ten years of marriage, many of these husbands relax the rules, and the wives are more flexible with doing what is necessary at night to make styling their hair easier the next morning.  We all know that women born with wavy and straight hair naturally gain length quicker and without breakage.  Lower maintenance natural loose hair is always going to be more manageable.  This type of hair does not make the women any smarter, brighter, or more educated.  It just means less to no "bad hair days."

Many Black women turn to loc'ing their hair to achieve the low maintenance lifestyle, but many men still do not like the texture of the hair in locs.  Of course, many men do, but women have to be aware that the lightness or darkness of their skin plays a part in how some men choose a mate.  Hair texture is no exception either.

Questions:
1) Have successful  Black men become so accustomed to the European standards of a polished image that this mindset plays into how they choose who to marry?  (i.e. Many Black male celebrities choose to marry outside of the Black race.)

2) Do many Black women choose to be single over having to conform to the image that some Black men prefer?

3) Does a man's self esteem really reflect in the way the woman looks that he carries on his arm?

ANSWERS:  I hoping to get some men to weigh in on these situations and mindsets.  Any takers???

On a Separate note: I used ombre lip coloring with a center transition color in my picture above. I needed to remind myself so that I will not look back two years from now and ask about my lip color.

Self Esteem, Natural Hair and the Corporate Workplace

"Oh, you're the one that had those little things in your hair."  - A statement made to me regarding my locks based on memory of my Sisterlocks when they were initially installed.

My initial thought was "Those little things" is my hair that God gave me.  My actual reply was "yes, that was probably me."

In the seminar this past weekend, some natural hairstyles were shown in a powerpoint presentation.  I was disappointed because my curl pattern will not achieve those natural looks without being chemically processed first.  There was only one example of a  professional "locked" look and her dreadlocks were mid-back with color and curls in them.  That length in locks is not achieved overnight unless lock extensions are added.

So where am I going with this discussion?  My self-esteem has never been linked to my hair, but it is the education and the love and encouragement that my parents have given me without limitation.

Accepting my curl pattern and accepting where my curl pattern ranks in identifying "professional natural hairstyling" is critical.  Some mothers may feel my viewpoint is negative, and that I am promoting "self-hate."

On the contrary, I am a realist.  We all need to learn our own hair curl pattern and curl behavior relative to what is acceptable in the corporate workplace.

As my microlocks get longer, I am being told more and more that they are starting to look more "normal" as far as hairstyling goes.

I want to smile and scream at the same time.  I love me.  I believe that God made no mistakes in my design.

I encourage others to look at the "big picture" when it comes to hair and curl patterns, learn your place and make the adjustments that you need to achieve your career goals.

Updos, wigs, and weaves may be your best friend until you climb the corporate ladder where you want to be.

Until next time, stay encouraged and stay tuned.

SisterLocks should not be Overtightened

 Unfortunately yes, this was the back of my head in December 2012 after returning from a tightening session by the second certified Sisterlocks consultant from the www.sisterlocks.com list that I patronized.  I was only four weeks from my last retightening completed by my original certified Sisterlocks consultant. Instead of this new consultant turning me down for retightening, she tightened my whole head, charged me $75 for an hour and forty-five minutes of labor (no shampoo service) and mentioned that I probably should wait longer between tightening sessions.

By the time I made it back to my salon and really started to see at how bare my scalp was, I became desperate to figure out how to salvage my self esteem.  Of course, I was still trusting in the consultants recommended by www.sisterlocks.com, and I just was trying to deal with what was being dished out the best way that I could. This is why my yarn unit was created.  I needed a fix. I needed a "plan B" that would blend with my existing Sisterlocks. Yarn was the only thing that I could think of that would blend with locs. Then my making of the yarn unit was a combination of design considerations that I had been exposed to over the years.

I believe that Sisterlocks are supposed to be about empowering women, but for me, it tore me down over and over.  The founder of Sisterlocks was quiet throughout my entire ordeal with the exception of the fact that she did not approve of my yarn unit being promoted in conjunction with her Sisterlocks name despite all my letters of complaint as well as suggestions for improvement for the Sisterlocks organization as a whole.

I am willing to forgive, and I sincerely hope that my ordeal will help others understand that the www.sisterlock.com listing does not guarantee any more than the consultants listed have met minimal renewal qualifications.

Well, below is my head again, May 2013.  I was two months Sisterlocks free.  Big difference right?

The lighting is different in this picture.  No flash, but you get the idea.  My scalp began recovering after separating myself from the Sisterlocks technique.  For some people, Sisterlocks work because of their hair texture, their scalp's natural oilyness to keep their locks hydrated or a maybe it's their consultant.  I do not know why it works for some and not others, but it did not work for me.  What does work for me?  Finger twisting and natural hydrating styling products.

I always try to make lemonade out of lemons.  I am so happy to be far enough past my bad experiences with Sisterlocks consultants that I could share with everyone the driving force behind the yarn unit and stocking cap units.  I still like the stocking cap units for a corporate straight hair option, but I no longer feel the need to hide my locks anymore in embarrassment.  God can bring you through . . . I am a witness.

Self Esteem: "Your Africa is Showing!"

(Photo Credits: www.thenaturalgirlsguidetobeauty.blogspot.com and www.toyourhealth.com) As you all know, I went back into my straight look in attempt to deal with some corporate America issues. It is better to look "corporate" from head to toe if you want to get anywhere in corporate America.

I have had so many Black women to say "your hair grew back so quickly." My response has been two part. One) The Viviscal tablets. I really believe in them. (see my separate article) Two) Natural Black hair shrinks. So although, it looks short when kinky; it expands 50 to 75% the length when straightened.

Do you know how awkward it feels to educate another Black woman about our natural hair? Some of our Black "divas" are so disconnected from their own natural hair texture. My thoughts are "If we can not accept ourselves in our raw form, then why would we expect another race to accept us?"

Black "Divas" who see other Black women with "Their Africa Showing" say "why doesn't she at least relax her hair so it can lay down." When I heard a "sistah" say this recently, I proudly and politely responded "I find some Black women are just not used to seeing their own natural hair." Then I quickly changed the topic.

I am sorry. I really, really want to scream. As you know, I recently wrote an article on "nappy love" that mentioned Black woman describing other Black women looking like a "wooly mammoth." I am thoroughly ashamed of some of my Black sisters being so ignorant about natural Black hair.

Most of the time our natural Black hair looks "ugly" when we are trying to wear it straight and the weather takes control of it. At this point, different textures start to show because parts of the hairstyle is reverting back to the natural texture. Also, when we get a lot of new growth prior to a relaxer touch-up, it looks a little awkward to have two different textures.

No, every Black woman does not need to go natural and wear an afro, but my God, please respect other Black women when "their Africa is Showing!"

To break the ice, the next time you see a Sistah that is not following the corporate straight look, say "Hey Sister! (with a warm smile) Your Africa is showing." It may become a start of a good friendship.

It takes a lot of self esteem to wear "your Africa" despite the stares and the body languages that one encounters when you are viewed as different. I challenge Black women to create a warmer acceptance of "nappy hair." Why? Our little Black girls need to know that they are beautiful just as they are! Their self esteem should not be based on what is on top of their head, but what is inside their head.

I can not emphasize enough that achieving education goals will set a stronger foundation for self-esteem than any relaxer ever will . . .

Nappy Love Seems to be Conditional

"You is kind. You is beautiful. You is important." This phrase was repeated over and over in the movie "The Help." No matter what your race; No matter what your hair type is; No matter how much you weigh. "You are kind. You are beautiful. You are important!"

When schools were integrated, some Whites began teaching "self-hatred" versus "Black Pride." Blacks are still hating on each other. I witnessed a "sistah" describing another "sistah" as looking like a "wooly mammoth." This comment although it was not directed at me, it ripped me to the core. Where is our Black pride? Why do little black girls think a blonde wig is "good hair?" God created all hair types, and God made no mistakes.

As an intelligent, college educated, self-employed Black woman whose hair in its natural state is probably a "wooly mammoth" would never want to trade places with anyone else. My IQ and beauty has never been defined by what is "socially acceptable." If I need to change my image to fit into society, then that is a choice that I make to play the game of politics. Young ladies must find their inner beauty before they can change their outer beauty. Outer beauty will get you in the corporate door. Your intellect will always keep you above your counterparts. Earn your college education from colleges that are held as prestigious; you will need paperwork to back your intellect. Always dream of your destination, and then plan to get there. Sometimes there is no room to bring "all your friends" along . . . just get there, then you can send for them later. My message is about self-esteem. It must be maintained at all times. As far as finding a hairstylist for those special days, look for a hairstylist that has hair texture that is at least as tight as yours. You will not be able to tell by looking at their hair. You have to ask questions about their relaxer frequency and natural curl pattern. I have to laugh at this point because men rule the beauty industry, and they do not have to grow their own hair. I personally no longer allow any stylist to touch my hair that does not have hair like mine. I have been the most pleased with my hair since I stopped allowing other stylists to do it. I still have not met another stylist in this business who has hair like mine and who has a kind heart. I attended the Bronner Brothers hair show this past weekend, and I did not see a single stylist from my area. This was sad. I have always tried to remain leading edge within reason. I wish there were more stylists that felt the same way in my area.

On a separate note, pictured is two different mannequins. One mannequin has silkier hair than the other. I recently bought the more textured hair mannequin because it was on my wish list. The salesperson said that I can relax it, but I have no intentions of doing so.

In addition, while I was at the hair show, I noticed many stylists. Some had photo shoot ready hair. Others, simply had an afro or colored locs. If I dive deeper into my observation, I will say that hairstylists fall into only two categories: 1)Low maintenance hair (i.e. men and women that don't have a sensitive scalp) or 2) High Maintenance hair (i.e. women with a sensitive scalp.)

I have grown out many women's hair to "bra strap length" (BSL) with Type 4 curl patterns, but they were not sensitive scalp as far as relaxers. There is still a gap in the industry. I asked Johnny Wright about Soft Sheen Carson's new relaxer and scalp sensitivity. I felt that he gave me a generic answer of "Yes, it has been tested on sensitive scalp, and there is less discomfort." Of course, he seemed to be on the defense. I really felt that he gave me a "blow-off" answer. The company gave us a sample pack of the relaxer system. I will try it out eventually and form my own opinion.

I am really about advancing the beauty of women regardless of race. I am also about increasing self-esteem. I covered a lot in this article. Hopefully, some of it is food for thought! Make today productive!