1.5 Year Lock-versary: The Dry Set

 So 18 months down, and it feels like I still need another 18 months to double this length.  This lock-versary was bittersweet.  I was really reflecting on what a bumpy ride this lock journey has been, and I still have a long way to go.  I literally held back tears.  I felt like I was at crossroads.  I was told many are getting "loc extensions."  Veteran lock wearers feel that "getting lock extensions" is cheating, but the corporate Sistahs are saying they want to feel good about themselves and the lock extensions are the only way to go to avoid that "ugly phase."  I am using strong words here because I want everyone to really see both sides.  For a split second, I even thought about going back to a relaxer.  Oh my goodness, I really was having a crisis.  The pressure to be polished.  The pressure to fit in.  My head felt like it was about to explode.  Then I took a deep breath. Calmed down. Cleared my head.  Then Voila!

Serenity. Clarity.  The Sisterlock ladies in Boston told me to give my locks five years and everyone will be jealous of my locks.  Oh my,  I am still not halfway there, but I am a leader.  I can do this.  So I re-committed to working with what I got without adding any "lock extensions."  So to achieve this style, I used the Lottabody "Ready to Use" Setting Lotion on my micro-locks dry.  No shampooing.  I wanted an overnight set without a soaking wet head.  I wrote about the Lottabody setting lotion on this blog recently.

Well, I used it to dry set my micro-locks in bantu knots. I then slept in that style overnight with a extra wide headband to avoid them working their way loose.  I untwisted the bantu knots the next morning, and this is the cute little texture it put into my locks.  I had a lot of fun!  I will have to take the time to do this more often!

Now, do not get me wrong, I am still longing for more length, but I feel like I am almost completely past the starter loc phase.  Why spend the time and money adding lock extensions?  No.  I am NOT going to do it.

Let me also let those who skip the starter loc phase and go straight into the lock extension know that you are missing out on something very key to maturing in life . . .  can you guess what that is?  It took me awhile to really figure out what you get cheated out of by skipping the "starter lock" phase.

Tired of guessing?  Well, you miss out on discovering who your friends are and who is your support system.  Your true friends may not be your family, but when you begin the journey of stripping all of the extensions and glamour, you find your true essence.  When people can love the "real you" then they don't see starter locks as a forever thing.  They support you in that phase.

I realized that from my layoff from Corporate America that my corporate work environment did not support my starter lock phase.  New corporate management did not value me.

I realized that newer salon clientele did not trust my judgement with hair because they could not see the bigger picture.  So my revenues curtailed, and how do you attract new relaxer clients when you are wearing starter locks?  Oh my goodness, I have to laugh.  Thank God for bringing me through, and Thank God for that long, gorgeous stocking cap wig that I made.  It was the only thing that seemed to humanize me again in the eyes of society.

Can you imagine feeling like you are the "talk of the town" for being a "Hot mess" full of "little things" in your hair?   Oh my God, those "little things" were actually my hair in the Sisterlocks framework, but in the grand scheme of things, no one cared about what "Sisterlocks" were.  They just cared about if it was cute or not?  And apparently, the answer was "no."

So now, 1.5 years later . . .  I have come a long, long way.  It has made me a strong person, and I have identified who my friends and support system are.  They see the essence behind the hair.  They are not the "fairweather friends."  They are the ones that believe in you and support your decisions.

I understand if your job will not support the starter loc phase without "lock extensions."  You have to pay your bills so in order to keep your job, then get the lock extensions added.

Someone is probably saying "Hey!  That is discrimination if they do not accept your natural hair."   Well, the truth is unless you are in some liberal states like California and New York, fighting with an employer is going to get you no where but the "unemployment line with your natural hair."  Trust me it is not a cute situation.  If your workplace does not like your hair styling or your hair statement, then keep applying to other jobs until you find a work environment that will.  I learned from experience.  I figure if I can save others some time and pain, why not?

Anyway, for my fellow loc wearers, try dry setting your locks with the Lottabody setting lotion.  Do NOT fully saturate the locks.  Just mist them with setting lotion and twist or set.  Have fun!

Dreadlocks: Lessons Learned in 2013

 This is my August 2013 picture.  My last time having my hair "sisterlocked" was March 2013.  Five months Sisterlocks-free!  Same parting sizes.  Just new SELF-tightening technique!

Honey (as explained in my last article on this blog) is doing really well to keep my locks coiled.  Overall, they are not untwisting.  I did have a few instances where the honey made my neck sticky because I was sweating and the leftover honey on my scalp started sliding down. (What a visual? Right? LOL!)

Anyway, I just took a wet paper towel and wiped my perimeters and neck off.  Surprisingly, I have spoken with more and more people who use honey to avoid skin breakouts from other "lock products."  So those with sensitive skin will love honey for tightening their hair.

The honey works like a heavy moisturizer. I must admit my satin bonnet and pillow cases all look "greasy" but I have not attracted any ants nor bugs.  I will happily use the honey again and keep the wetness of my hair consistent before applying the honey if it starts to dry out as I am working my way through my hair.

Well, this picture is from January 2013.  I really suggest children start their dreadlocks between 10 and 12 years old.  Some people are born with "perfect shaped head and face" that they can look glamourous with a bald head.  And some of us, like me, need hair length to balance our distinguished features.  I found it difficult in my age 40's working in a corporate setting to start growing out Sisterlocks and/or dreadlocks.  I hated to feel forced to wear a wig to fit in with the workplace and also cause stress to my new $800.00 hairdo.  I really did not have a real support system.  People would say  "it looked great, but it was not for me. "  "My (their) husband would not go for it." Oh, "look at those little things.  Is that your hair?"

In hindsight,  I realized that I gained weight from the stress of coping with Sisterlocks and the "starter dreadlocks."  I even was laid off from my corporate hairdressing position within two weeks of initial Sisterlocks locking session.  My manager was African American, but obviously needed diversity training. I have a few other choice names to call this manager, but it would be inappropriate to post that here.  So I digress.

The founder of Sisterlocks' purpose was to empower women, but I found MY Sisterlocks journey to be a quick route through "hell" and back.  I made the best of it, and I am now back on track for happier days with my new approach to dreadlocks.  Thank God that I now see clearer skies, and I am on track to becoming more empowered as my locks gain length withOUT thinning out my hair density.  More on hair density later in this article.

Anyway, the younger you can start your little girls out with dreadlocks the better to cope with the peer pressure.  The dreadlocks or Sisterlocks need at least two years before they get to the length that most people start to really love them.  So starting at age 12 means by high school, the locks should be easy to style, and the girls should have some workable length.

This picture above shows the relaxed hair that is still hanging on my hair ends versus my matured lock.  My relaxed hair rolled up on the ends and formed knots while in the Sisterlocks' framework.  The Sisterlocks consultant really did me a disservice by locking my relaxed hair.  I honestly do not know if I had enough new growth to start Sisterlocks anyway. (Visit my July 2012 articles for my start of Sisterlocks.)

I had so much relaxed hair that I do not know if she really knew what she was looking at. My relaxed hair was never silky straight because of my natural texture. I digress again. ( I am trying to stay upbeat. Smile.)

Anyway, please do NOT pay to get your relaxed ends Sisterlocked.  They will either matte and lock on its own depending on your natural texture or NOT.  Either way, you will probably end up cutting them off at some point in time.

 Okay, my Sisterlocks consultant had started doubling up my locks within the first 3 months of getting Sisterlocks started.  She did not tell me.  I found this doubled up lock, and I was upset.  For those who do not understand the big picture, doubling up locks means your hair density is thinning.

For Christ's sake, if your hair is thinning out within months of starting locks, then something is NOT right.  Either your hair is the type that really does need some shea butter, olive oil or some sort of moisturizer  OR the interlock/Sisterlock technique is NOT a good fit for your hairtype.  It could be the Sisterlock technician's error in her interlocking technique.

Regardless, stop the madness!  If the doubled up strand is larger than the root area, then you are going to rip your hair out from the scalp trying to pass the "fat ends" through.  If you understand the interlocking process, then you know what I am explaining here.  If you do not understand the interlocking process, I encourage you to watch youtube tutorials on "interlocking dreadlocks."

By all means, watch your hair density.  In my December 2012 picture above, my second Sisterlocks consultant was twice as fast at tightening, but I believe that she was also causing me breakage and thinning.

Most of the length in this picture is still stemming from my relaxed ends that had not rolled up and knotted.   (i.e. my length above is from the relaxed hair that was put into Sisterlocks framework)

I kept asking the new consultant how is she sooo much faster than my last consultant.  Her answer was "age difference?"

No,  in hindsight, my hair was being ripped out.  The Sisterlocks consultants seem to like getting those Sisterlocks premium dollars, but they do not care if you are going bald in the process.  They just want to get paid without owning up to the fact that the interlocking technique or even the frequency of tightenings may not be working for you.  There are some exceptions . . . so yes, not all Sisterlock consultants are bad.  But definitely, do NOT trust that sisterlocks.com certified consultant list either as far as finding a caring, professional consultant.  I digress. (I swear - writing this article is taking me through an emotional roller coaster. It is amazing what I have been through on this lock journey.)

Also, if your Sisterlocks consultant is yanking your sisterlocks apart if they start to grow together, then I do not recommend this action.  Shears should be used to carefully cut the cross hair(s) if they can not be massaged apart.  Yanking on dreadlocks/Sisterlocks is what amateur locticians do; not professional locticians.  Yanking stresses the locks.

As you can see, I have learned a lot about dreadlocks over the year.  As for me and my dreadlocks, the best thing is for me was to do like so many other women with beautiful locks are doing - just do it myself and go to a loctician for updos, steam treatments, or other specialty options.  I do not want to risk too much lock doubling or combining.  I want to keep my locks as feminine as possible.

Thank God that I have found a loctician that I hope will work out. Our consultation went the best out of the three locticians I visited a few months ago.

I hope that this article helps others considering the lock journey for their children or for themselves.  Locks are a serious thing.  It's still hair and breakage still can happen.  Some sistahs with straight hair take sistahs with locked hair for granted.  I assure you that a sistah with long, beautiful locks are just as picky about her locks as any straight haired sistah is about her blow-out.  So don't get it twisted!