Phenomenal . . .

Phenomenal . . .
Life, Growth, and Connection (This sunflower was nourished by my hands.) 2010; Photography by Benita Blocker. Please become a follower of this blog.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Mother's Choice: To Relax or To Lock?

Age 4 - started locks; Age 8 - "locks for life!" I wanted to share one mother's decision for her beloved daughter: (Pictures provided by Arynn's mother.)
I decided to lock Arynn's hair 4 years ago after prayer, careful consideration and much research. Arynn was born with a lot of tight curly hair that is extremely dense and thick. In addition to this, she was very tender-headed. I remember literally having to put Arynn in a headlock to do even simple styles and hope no one would call DSS from her crying at the top of her lungs. With so many strikes against me, I knew I was going to have to make a decision. 3 years prior to locking Arynn's hair I had decided to get sisterlocks and was loving them for many reasons. At the time, I only knew of one other child who had sisterlocks and hers were put in by her mother who was a sisterlock technician at the time. I tried blowing her hair out and even that was a task. I even straightened with the comb a couple of times but did not like the smell of dead, burned hair. Because of the long term and sometimes short term damage that results from perms, I knew that chemicals would not be an option from the beginning. I got lots of negative feedback from adults of both permed and natural hair (surprisingly) that Arynn was too young for sisterlocks, that it should be her decision, what if she wants to cut them out later, etc. I even when to for insight. I had to do a heart check and take into consideration our family lifestyle, my husband's thoughts (he was on board from the very beginning), time management and hair management for myself and my daughter. Finally after talking at length with my consultant who agreed to actually lock Arynn's hair (other consultants did not want to even think about doing a 4 year old's hair due to the length of time, attention span, etc.) I knew sisterlocks were the way to go for us. 29 1/2 hours over 4 days later, Arynn had a beautiful head of sister locks. There have been no regrets and I still believe this was the best decision I could have made. Arynn loves her hair and can be found sashaying and swinging her hair in the mirror often. She loves the touch, look and length of her hair. Literally boys, girls, men and women of all colors have complimented her on her hair. It is literally a conversation piece and friends love playing in it.

The biggest negative we have experienced is that after going to an open house of a renown Christian private school, I was told that Arynn would not be able to attend the school with sisterlocks. When asked if that was discrimination, I was told "no" because they could pretty much make their own rules as a private school. This was prior to me deciding that I would home school her so peer pressure is non-existent in our world relative to the school side.

Hair is hair and it needs to be maintained regardless of natural or permed; so yes she has to be tightened and it does require a lot of time because she has sooooo many locks. I know other little girls with sister locks who are tightened in 3-4 hours (average time) every 4-6 weeks. In the beginning much care has to be taken with washing and banding of the hair so that the locks do not come out but after the "settle in" phase (which can take 4-6 months on the average) it's history! That is where sisterlock consultants come in. They are well trained and during your initial consultation everything from product to maintenance is covered. Sisterlocks have their own product line and special instructions, so the process is simple if followed closely. You want someone who is thorough and will answer all of your questions with patience because this is not a fad, its a lifestyle. I respect sisterlock consultants who have gone through the proper training and credentialing because truly it is an art. ( has an official SisterLock consultant registry.) Rosa Crawford (out of the Charlotte, NC area) is our Sisterlock consultant and can be found on the official website.

I believe that the trend toward natural hair has made locs of all types acceptable by people of all different cultures and races. Sisterlocks are seen on women in tv, commercials and corporately. Its healthy, beautiful and worth all the money that is invested into it. I would do it again and again. When I asked Arynn what she likes most about her locks, she simply smiles and says "everything mommy."

End of story . . . Benita, here again! I am so thankful that this mother shared her story with us! It brought back memories. I am tenderheaded to this day, and my hair was just ridiculous for my mother to manage. I wish SisterLocks was around thirty years ago, and that my mom would have gotten me started.

It is important to remember that a relaxer is permanent and has to be cut off to start over. Locks are permanent for the most part and have to be cut off to start over. So it is six one way and a half a dozen another way. Moms should not be afraid of sisterlocks for their daughter's hair. I personally want sisterlocks even smaller than the ones that Arynn has pictured above. I want micro Sisterlocks. I may have to travel to DC to get them! I will keep you posted. Until then . . . "Lock on!"


  1. In regards to the school rejection, another blogger had a similar article on how seriously schools attach "European straight" to social acceptance. The article is at

  2. I just read another article how "being Black" is associated with "kinky hair." The story is related to President Obams allowing a young boy to touch his hair. The article is at

  3. My hubby wanted my daughter to have locks as a toddler. He thought it would look cute. I agreed but I thought I could just twist it with lock gel and that was it. I was misinformed. She was natural, of course until she was 6/7 and now relaxed. I don't regret my choice as I can manage her long hair better without her screaming and hollering, but sometimes I miss her puff balls and the styling I could do with her natural hair. I applaud your decision, it was well thought out. Your daughter's hair is absolutely beautiful.

  4. Please see my latest article entitled 'the Sisterlocks Situation' April 2013.