A Barber's Reflection of the Metrosexual Male

Introducing a guest author for this article that I met during the Democratic National Convention, this barber shop owner hails from the Fayetteville, NC area:

“just cut a little off and uh, fade out my neck back here, and uh, ooh chil’, can you clean up my eyebrows?”

I want to smile. I don’t. I’m a professional. I usually lean the chair back for women to perform this service. For him though, I won’t.

You see, I haven’t completely adjusted to this new new. In due time, I will. And it’s probably going to be when that one bill is due, and I don’t have much time.

I like the charismatic brother. I don’t defer the softer side of “gentle”man. I peep style and I’ve toy’ed with swag.

But I haven’t developed and I struggle with this new habit of shopping. Hopping from store to store, comparing jean fitment, and inquiring about the next shipment. Brothers trying on clothes together and buying “outfits” to compare in the mirror like instant models. I like pink, I dig neon (on an open sign) and I know some of these clothes cost hundreds, if not thousands of dollars.

Seeing pictures of Lebron and D-Wade standing with these tight-a clothes with their hair dyed, but still in their 20’s, makes me wonder. Are we letting things get out of hand? Brothers being dressed by a white man, two in France, one in Japan, two China-en, all foreign, including, the one in Switzerland? This new trend doesn’t blend on in with the way I would want this thing to tend to be. Or should we let it be? I thought we were trendsetters. Fabric-blend displayers. Tailored suits and Gators.

If I say no to a $75 shirt at the “trendiest” department store; does it mean I’m poor? But that shirt in my size is just too tight. I’m too grown; and it’s not right. These pants? The salesman, him has on a collared shirt, tittie-tight sweater, a skinny mustache and a baritone voice speaking softly, then remarks, “’dis hot together. You know these RedMonkey jeans cost $400 right? But if you goin out, put on these Prada “flats” and Honey, you is working it!” Really? Clearly? Ok. Because it’s being purchased. And it’s being sported. Yet, I think some men are allowing their own fashionado bravado to be grossly exploited. These small t-shirts with muscles popping out like fake boob jobs and jeans showing your tool? I mean on some men, it’s probably sexy. Some men and some women may even compliment them. Some men and some women, may even try to emulate them.

Because this is the newness. I call the men that buy all these clothes that don’t fit on their body OR in their closet, “Label Hoes.” They’ll wear anything that cost a lot and call it cool. Or call it hot. Im not sure if this is fashion. It just seems like designers took women and mens clothes, and combined them. And then convinced them. But I’m not going to join them. Not even with the naysayers when it comes to my own “whack ass” fashion.

It may sound like I am hating, I’m not.

Thus yes, I am a professional. So let me clean and sanitize my razor. Because I’m doing it to perform a service. I’m doing it because it’s his own added flavor. Nice shape up, clean taper. He’ll probably make a manicure appointment for some time later. Now let me do myself a favor and tend to my business while making it my business. After all, I’m not the fashion exterminator. I’m a little confused on this look of metro-sexual. A little amused at how often men stare at their reflection. Thus, I have to reflect on some. A man having a closet full of euro-cut is alright if that’s what he’d so choose. Not one drop of his manhood has he thought to loose. But where does he find the time to primp, parade, and peruse? And where in the world, does his wife put all of her shoes?

An excerpt from the forthcoming book, “Controversy and Question Marks” by Kevin Brooks via .brookShop.